Conquering Depression

They say that the best laid plans of mice and men are doomed to fail. Not sure how complicated a life a mouse might lead when we’re not watching, but it appears well nigh impossible to plan our busy lives around work and family, without any of those additional “days off” devoted to teacher training, weather or illness!

It would be really nice if everything and everyone were flexible, including schedules and you could just drop everything without notice to care for your ill child.

1. Where you can – plan. Some of these troublesome days are truly unpredictable, while others may be scheduled in advance. Of course nobody knows what the weather is going to do, but snow days only arrive during certain months of the year, whilst inset days are generally planned in advance and with a little bit of work can be sewn into the schedule.

The biggest problem of all revolves around sick days, of course. You should do a little bit of planning and preparation work in full anticipation that this day will surely come! If you are struggling with your planning, consider some professional coaching to help you get back on track.

2. Save up your personal days. Both parents in your household might have to work due to regular commitments, in this case it is important to reserve some personal days for those sickness events. Many employers these days grant a certain amount of personal days and you should talk to your Human Resources department and your line manager as you try to anticipate these scenarios.

In many cases you will not have any advance notice, so you need to look at this from every perspective and try and be fair all around.

It would definitely be an advantage if you and your partner have a sympathetic employer who could understand your position. Never use these personal/sick standby days for anything other than the reason they were intended.

3. Line up favours. If you have several children to take care of, you should come up with a backup plan as well. See if you can get some additional emergency care-giving help lined up among good neighbours or friends. Always repay these favours in any way you can. With a number of emergency backup plans in place, you’ll be able to cope when a sick child or three comes to you.

4. Stock up on vitamins. While on the subject of coping with sick children, remember that any amount of prevention is better than a cure. If you can make sure that your children practise good personal hygiene, eat well, are well rested and in good health, then they’re less likely to come down with those pesky, smaller viruses.

5. Be a good weather forecaster. Always keep a watchful eye on the forecasts during the winter months. Weather forecasting has improved much over the years and if they say there is a threat of a blizzard a couple of days ahead, you can be pretty sure and start making contingency plans now. If a school district is closed, it might be very difficult for you to get to your work location as well, but if the office is open, see if you can count on one of those personal days or plan to work from home.

Isn’t it difficult wearing so many different hats that you don’t know which one to put on?

These days, online life coaching is available to really help you understand this part of your “wardrobe selection!” And thankfully, coaching for women can make all the difference between managing and panicking!

Amanda Alexander is Director of Coaching Mums and a highly acclaimed ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working mums who yearn for success, balance and fulfilment. Are you a juggling mom? Download our free eBook for working moms that will give you 5 simple and instant ways to balance your life right now!

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Parents can find it very hard to understand all the changes that they have gone through. They may well have become accustomed to the idea of living together and operating as a cohesive partnership, but when children arrive this throws the delicate balance off course.

What may have been a perfectly happy marriage can become, rather quickly, a rocky road. Tactful tweaks and adjustments will be needed by both partners in the relationship to smooth the path, and not only for new parents. A relationship will take a lot of maintenance to ensure that when children arrive, everything remains well grounded.

Have a look at everything from a big perspective, especially if you begin to doubt what is happening, start to worry or even become mad. You’ve heard the phrase, “can’t see the wood for the trees”? This is particularly apt when applied to two frazzled parents who have to just keep going! From an overall perspective, both now have to take on additional jobs and become multiple role players. This can often be a tricky transition and can lead to each person spending more time focusing on their new “position” than on their opposite partner. In the case of new parents, the mum may put so much effort and attention into caring for the new arrival, that the marriage may not seem so important a priority any more.

When mum is so absorbed with the new arrival, dad can feel as if he is completely surplus. A husband may “assume” that his wife needs overall responsibility and is the best person to look after the kids. The danger here is that he may distance himself from the partnership, assuming that he’s doing the right thing.

The most important thing for parents to do is to watch for warning signs and really understand their partner. Some of the symptoms include a quick temper, a feeling that one cannot cope and becoming irritable. The worst thing one can do is to leave any potential problems unchecked as they can quickly become unmanageable and dangerous.

Whenever the kids are not around, sit down and have a very deep and meaningful conversation. Quietly and calmly ask your opposite half whether you are being reasonable and expect their honest replies. Remind each other that things have changed now that you have additional family members and this is to be understood, priorities now look different.

You both have to work together as a cohesive team to raise your children in the way you want, and you shouldn’t underestimate how much effort and active input this takes from both of you. Give yourselves a pat on the back and never forget that you two represent the lead team in the family!

Don’t think for a moment that this all has to be about doom and gloom! You do need to prioritise time together, but just make sure that your time represents quality time. Ask yourself when you last spent a weekend away together or did something fun with each other. That romantic dinner should be scheduled as often as everything allows and try your best to come up with small, but meaningful and romantic gifts or surprises for each other.

Mums can face a considerable challenge, especially if they are working as well and it’s useful to consult experts to help them manage the juggling act and the myriad of emotions they will face along the journey of motherhood. Generally, online life coaching focuses on real-world professional coaching, and as it is tailored toward coaching for women, it can often be a saviour when everything seems doomed.

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working moms across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

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Taking a career break in the middle of a recession is probably not the best idea, but sometimes we are forced to do so, especially when we are expecting a new arrival. These days with household budgets being stretched so thin, the thought of being a full-time mum, while attractive, is not realistic. As soon as we are able and are ready, we need to get back into the job market to find a way of catching back up financially.

Unemployment rates are crazy right now and the labour market can be a very unpleasant proposition. This is not the time to falter though and it is important to prepare your negotiation skills and boost your self-confidence, ready for battle. To start off with, you should make a thorough analysis of your financial position and needs for the months and years ahead. Be reasonable here, but cut everything that is not absolutely necessary. Be very clear in your own mind about your financial requirements, what you absolutely need as a minimum and what is ideal.

You may well have been perfectly happy with your career before you took the break, but you should now evaluate exactly where you are, whether you want to go back into that arena or explore something completely fresh. Should you start your own business? Does your financial analysis tell you that you can expect to have fair returns from self-employment, while still making ends meet and if so you may be presented with an exciting and flexible concept for your new life. You are being faced with some significant and potentially very far-reaching decisions and you might want to consider professional coaching at this time. Thankfully, coaching for women in your situation can definitely help you to determine what to do.

Always be very positive and never negative. Focus on all your strengths, which you should write out on paper and keep on your desk at all times. Focus on your psyche and project yourself well in all your phone calls, e-mails or conversations.

If you are aiming for a particular position, try and consider jobs which are beneath, but fall naturally within the career progression. You may be overqualified, but if it gives you a stepping-stone toward your ideal position, by going the extra mile you will soon find that you become eligible (and get) the position that you want.

Even in this tough hiring environment, those people who really stand out, help and over-perform will still get ahead of the unfortunate majority who do not. Set your mindset for success and you will get there.

At this stage, you will need all of the inner strength that you can muster. It is easy to get disenchanted by the negative news we hear about the economy and jobs every day and while you might begin to think that the task is very difficult, don’t think that it is a hill too steep. Remember to take the journey one step at a time, being fully confident of your ability and your readiness for a particular position before you start to contact the employer. A useful tip — take a deep breath and even stand up when you make a phone call. If you have a drooping mindset or a sagging posture this will not help you. Remember to smile as you talk as well!

These days, online life coaching can provide you with the boost you require when you need it, especially in those periods of negativity. You can definitely do this!

Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums and a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach who delivers professional coaching programmes to working mums across the globe who long for more time, balance and fulfilment in their busy lives. Download our free eBook especially for working mums with 5 easy ways to achieve balance.

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